Confessions of a Poly Cystic…

Since I am on my periods thought this was the best time to actually write down my cystic journey.

I DON’T fall in the categories of those 2% women who remember their first period vividly. I don’t remember when, how and where. But yes I remember that after the first one it was always irregular. So period calendars
never really helped me. It would not come for months and months. The longest I’ve been without them is six months and the worst is when they’d come it’d be a flood like scenario.

I use to be scared initially but then my mom would say Let it go, the more it goes the better. OKAY I thought.

As I grew older and broader the irregularities increased so did the flooding. Finally we decided to get it checked. There was no way my Mom would’ve guessed it because it was this era’s disorder - A LIFESTYLE DISORDER.

We tried everything. Ayurved, homeopath, allopath, naturopath. It was only turning me into a psychopath. I couldn’t say no to all these treatments until 3 years back. Whenever someone suggested something my parents would rush me to that source. They couldn’t see me like that and I loved the attention.

My PMS would always mean fever, cough, cold and body aches. I still have these kind of PMS’s. Some PMS’s bring back the accident pain too. I also feel very dizzy. No matter how much I sleep it never seemed enough. But sometimes you need to give in to your body requirements to get that bloody thing out.

Ayurvedic medicines increased the heat inside my body, I just couldn’t bare it. Frankly I didn’t realize anything with homeopath medicines except  that it tasted good. Allopathy was all about oral contraceptives and I would never continue it because I just didn’t want to. Somehow it didn’t feel right. And that was a good enough reason. So all these medicines and several other activities led to no results at all or may be temporary results.

Well most Gynacs would suggest a fabulous way to treat this. They would tell my mom that she’ll be alright when she gets married. Now I laugh. God! I was a teenager when I first heard this. My mom understood what the doctor meant and they’d exchange smiles. It kind of reminds me of  my science teacher who blushed when she taught reproductive system. WHAT?? Yes she literally blushed. Alright, am sorry I know there is no connection between wedding and reproductive system.

I thank the Lord that my parents are liberal and they didn’t actually thought that only wedding will cure me.

I have also drank Cow Urine mixed with aloe juice and warm water. Yaah! Yaah! Judge me all you want but it worked. But also I couldn’t and wouldn’t continue it for obvious reasons.

Once I bled so much that I’d become all white and blood pressure dropped significantly. My parents took me to a Gynac. But I was embarrassed on the way. I stained my father’s car seat. I looked at him and he said don’t worry (SOOTHING WORDS). My jeans was all soaked. We had to first buy sanitary napkins and new pair of pants (see it’s not that bad, I got new pants). This doctor was astonished because I was dealing with this for over 20 days and she asked me how come you are alive. I felt like a superwomen. What! Did I just conquer DEATH? She gave me a steroid injection and my bleeding stopped before we reached home.

I remember, it was summer of 69 2010 (PJ ALERT), I was in Nanded at my Granny’s and people spoke about my weight. I think I was in graduation then. And my mom told them that she has not had her periods in three months and God those middle aged aunts looked me down. They thought I was pregnant. As much as I would’ve enjoyed it that wasn’t the case obviously. And when my mom told them in simple language that she has multiple lumps on her ovaries and that’s why. . Then those bunch of women looked at me with sympathy.

Grrr… I hated it then but I laugh now at 32.

Bottom line. You can try all you want externally but PCOD needs to be cured from deep within too. The mood swings, the burns, the acne, the excessive hair, the cramps, month long PMS’s all this impacts much more than one can imagine. And please don’t bother people talking about your bloating, acne, cravings or your appearance. They don’t know SHIT!

I have spent my precious energy on people demeaning me, calling me fat, fugga etc. People who didn’t understand my disorder also thought I was Sick. Seriously THEY DON’T KNOW SHIT…

Yes it took me almost one and half decade to stand up for myself and take charge of my PCOD. I told my parents very clearly that I won’t see a doctor anymore. I hate taking medicines.

It’s not completely cured but hey it’s not bad.

I started walking and I realised that every time my body has been active I did get my periods. In the past two years my cycles have been pretty normal (don’t want to jinx it). Yes the flow definitely varies. Sometimes it’s a flood and sometimes it just comes to give attendance. But hey as long as you bleed you are good.

Am no doctor and I know nothing about SCIENCE, but I know about mental stability. I needed to have faith in myself and self-love. I know that if you have control on yourself you can stabilize anything. Stress is your enemy. So is junk food, bread, rice, sugar, dairy. I eat everything on my cheat days that way I don’t feel deprived of the pleasure food gives us.

Am a slow learner. And from my experience the only suggestion I can give you beauties is learn your body, observe yourself before, during and after periods. Try changing a few habits. If you are an over thinker like me try meditating or indulging in books. Shut yourself from the world once a while. Reach out to family members when you feel like crying or removing frustrations. My sister is a God’s gift..

If you have a boyfriend or husband who tracks your cycle and takes extra care, you are already lucky and am jealous. I have come across very very few men who actually understand menstruation and everything that comes with it. Trust me, men who don’t understand what those 7 days mean to you (in my case 15 sometimes more) can be really annoying. Because we have no control on our mood and instead of acknowledging they would lose their temper. This can be chaotic. Just message them that you’re on your periods and you need peace/ SPACE. And also know that having said all this you will still crave for their attention.

We women are stronger than we know. We let ourselves and others underestimate us. Periods are good. There is nothing to be ashamed about. It’s okay if your skirt has a stain. It is okay if you don’t paper wrap the napkins you’ve just bought. But understand there is a thin line between being liberal and being rebel. We are accepting something that is normal. So let’s be liberal. We don’t have to be rebels. People who make you feel like you should hide, or this is pathetic or you are abnormal are stupid.

PCOD was rare but now it is as common as any other disorder. Every women’s struggle is different and equally difficult. Nobody can understand. And we will have a bunch of people who will judge us. But you continue being the strong women you’ve been all this while. Remember we are normal, the world isn’t.

Embrace it and it won’t embarrass you. Ever.

This was me blabbering about Mein menstrual Kampf while I was on it.

Thanks for reading.

Love

Priyanka Jawalgaonkar